Sunday was a difficult day in Church. We had the sermon based on 1 Corinthians:Chapter 13 - also know as the “love chapter”. Not exactly the favorite of a single girl the day before Valentine’s Day. I was especially touched by the sermon because it talked about what God really means by love but then was drawn to tears as the versus 4-8 were put to music. I know it was a God moment as the words” love never fails” was sung and the overwhelming feeling of failure of love in my life came over me. I could not fight back the tears. I felt like I had failed at love in my life and that I had also failed to not feel that the love of God was enough…it was awful. At the end of church I had to just be alone and sit for awhile so I went into a quiet room off of the atrium. I cried silent tears for a short time and prayed for comfort. As I settled down I opened my eyes and looked out into the atrium. There was a man holding a baby girl on his shoulder. She was wrapped in a pink blanket, sleeping on his shoulder. All of a sudden I thought of the love I have for my children and how I felt when I held them as babies in my arms or as they slept on my shoulder. I also thought to myself that this is how God is holding me now. I could feel his love as he holds me close in his arms. It brought me great comfort. But that is not the end of my story….
As I was leaving to go downstairs a little boy all bundled up in his winter coat and hat came toddling over to me…he was about a year old and so adorable! His parents were close behind and didn’t mind that I bent over to talk to him…He looked up at me and then of all the wonderful things he could have done he lifted up his arms for me to pick him up! His mom said that was “so cute” and I did not want to freak them out so I did not pick him up… but again he looked at me and lifted his arms for me to pick him up…. At that point I asked if it was Ok to pick him up…she said OK, “he’s never done that before”… and I then picked him up. He immediately hugged me and put his head on my shoulder…Then he picked his head up and gave me a smile. I tried to turn to his mom to give him to her but again he gave me a hug! Yes indeed tears came to my eyes… at that point I did manage to have his mom take him gently from me. I told her that he was truly an angel and he made my day more than she would ever know.
Yes love is a difficult thing…but if we ask for it, love will be brought to us – and I have the faith and the hope that God will provide all the love I need in His own way…
So Happy Valentine’s day!
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
A prayer answered in the sweetest way!
I used to live in Waunakee and when I lived in the country we had an owl that often visited. Then when I moved in the city limits to my surprise there was an owl that lived in my neighborhood. I loved hearing it hoot at night, and even sometimes when I was walking the dog very early in the morning... Something about the hoot of the owl was very comforting to me.
The other morning I was walking Toby and I said to myself how much I missed the sound of the owl...I sometimes long to be back in the country to hear this and to see wildlife...I have seen a hawk by the apartment, but never thought an owl would be in the area. I was really missing this for some reason on this particular day.
I actually had the thought "wouldn't it be nice if I could hear that sound again"
Would you believe that at 3:45 this morning I woke up suddenly and did not know why... as I lay there I heard the unmistakable and very loud hoot of an owl!!!! Yes indeed! It must have been right in the tree outside my patio or on the roof top next door because it was so loud! I listened for its repeated hoot and very soon the call went from being right there by my apartment to a bit further away, then softer, still further away...until I could not hear it anymore
It was so amazing and still makes me smile just thinking about it...
The other morning I was walking Toby and I said to myself how much I missed the sound of the owl...I sometimes long to be back in the country to hear this and to see wildlife...I have seen a hawk by the apartment, but never thought an owl would be in the area. I was really missing this for some reason on this particular day.
I actually had the thought "wouldn't it be nice if I could hear that sound again"
Would you believe that at 3:45 this morning I woke up suddenly and did not know why... as I lay there I heard the unmistakable and very loud hoot of an owl!!!! Yes indeed! It must have been right in the tree outside my patio or on the roof top next door because it was so loud! I listened for its repeated hoot and very soon the call went from being right there by my apartment to a bit further away, then softer, still further away...until I could not hear it anymore
It was so amazing and still makes me smile just thinking about it...
Monday, June 28, 2010
In the meantime....
In the meantime…..
What do you do when you are struggling with reaching a goal, or finding a relationship, or getting work done on a long range project?
You find yourself in this limbo…. Waiting for others to complete something, waiting for the results to show up, waiting for the stats to be compiled, waiting for the pounds or inches to drop, waiting for the phone call or e-mail or card…
How do you handle “in the meantime?” I think this is a very stressful time and very difficult to sit back and let the process proceed as it should. In the meantime can be paralyzing I think. So this is what I will do with my “meantime”:
While I am waiting for the person to handle the details of one event, I will begin another project.
In the meantime I will file things that have been sitting around for months, answer e-mails, and get ready for the new students.
While I am waiting for the scale to show the results of my workouts, in the meantime I will remember to drink my water and limit my portions. In the meantime I will pack my gym back and go to the club – even if it is only for ½ hour and I am tired!
While I am waiting for my dream man to show up, in the meantime I will be as friendly and fun towards others because you never know…
In the meantime, I will enjoy my time with my kids, my walks with Toby, coffee on my deck and a bike ride on the bike trails…
In the meantime I will take care of myself and not be paralyzed by the waiting. I will move forward and not sit still waiting. In my meantime I will make to most of the break I have been given because activity is right around the corner and perhaps I will wish for this “meantime” back again!
What do you do when you are struggling with reaching a goal, or finding a relationship, or getting work done on a long range project?
You find yourself in this limbo…. Waiting for others to complete something, waiting for the results to show up, waiting for the stats to be compiled, waiting for the pounds or inches to drop, waiting for the phone call or e-mail or card…
How do you handle “in the meantime?” I think this is a very stressful time and very difficult to sit back and let the process proceed as it should. In the meantime can be paralyzing I think. So this is what I will do with my “meantime”:
While I am waiting for the person to handle the details of one event, I will begin another project.
In the meantime I will file things that have been sitting around for months, answer e-mails, and get ready for the new students.
While I am waiting for the scale to show the results of my workouts, in the meantime I will remember to drink my water and limit my portions. In the meantime I will pack my gym back and go to the club – even if it is only for ½ hour and I am tired!
While I am waiting for my dream man to show up, in the meantime I will be as friendly and fun towards others because you never know…
In the meantime, I will enjoy my time with my kids, my walks with Toby, coffee on my deck and a bike ride on the bike trails…
In the meantime I will take care of myself and not be paralyzed by the waiting. I will move forward and not sit still waiting. In my meantime I will make to most of the break I have been given because activity is right around the corner and perhaps I will wish for this “meantime” back again!
Monday, June 14, 2010
What are we (am I) waiting for anyway?!
I have had the word “wait” in my vocabulary for too long I have decided. Songs on the radio, the news, magazine articles, and television shows all talk about waiting for any number of things. Waiting for the right one to come along, waiting for the winning number to win the lottery, waiting for the kids to finish school, waiting for the kids to go back to school, waiting for the perfect opportunity, waiting for the economy to change, waiting for the weather to warm up, waiting for the weather to cool down, waiting for the In box to get empty, waiting for the deadline, waiting for the weekend, waiting for Monday…
I have been in a waiting pattern for any number of these things and it has become paralyzing for me. I have got to get out of the “When this happens then I will….Syndrome”. I have been thinking a lot lately and trying to get out of it and I think I have found the solution. Here are just a few examples of how I have to turn this around… Instead of saying “when I lose 20 pounds I’ll start running again”, I need to say “when I start running again I’ll lose 20 pounds.” Or “when my bills settle down from my recent situation, I’ll get my finances in order.” Instead I need to say “when I get my finances in order, my bills will settle down.” Or “when work calms down, I’ll get more organized.” Yes, you guessed it – I need to say “when I get more organized, work will calm down.”
Of course there are some things I just have to wait for but I am prayerfully and patiently putting that into His hands. As for the rest of it – I CAN do something – and I will not continue to feel paralyzed by the waiting.
There is a web newsletter I subscribe to and there were some powerful words of wisdom I want to share also…. Enjoy!
Myth #1: I am waiting for things to turn around.
The reality is that things don’t turn themselves around. Here is a lesson learned while grazing cows. If you want milk, you don’t wait for the cow, grazing some distance from where you are, to back up for you to milk it. You get up and go where the cow is.
Myth #2: I would want to…(fill the blank), BUT…
The reality is that BUT is so powerful it neutralizes the positive motive stated before it. The future largely depends on how many “BUTS” you use at the present. Take an innocent and simple sentence like, “I want to go to college,” then follow that great statement with, “but I am too old.” That BUT empowers your bones to crack and your mind to operate as if you are approaching your life’s sunset.
Myth #3: It is not my responsibility to…(fill the blank).
That phrase demotes you from a doer to a watcher, a spectator of life who avoids participating. Check those around you. Doers are the achievers. Think about the time you went somewhere requesting help and someone said, “I do not have a solution for your situation, however, let me check around.” Even if that individual willing to do something can’t help you, you know he/she took full responsibility to act on your need.
I have been in a waiting pattern for any number of these things and it has become paralyzing for me. I have got to get out of the “When this happens then I will….Syndrome”. I have been thinking a lot lately and trying to get out of it and I think I have found the solution. Here are just a few examples of how I have to turn this around… Instead of saying “when I lose 20 pounds I’ll start running again”, I need to say “when I start running again I’ll lose 20 pounds.” Or “when my bills settle down from my recent situation, I’ll get my finances in order.” Instead I need to say “when I get my finances in order, my bills will settle down.” Or “when work calms down, I’ll get more organized.” Yes, you guessed it – I need to say “when I get more organized, work will calm down.”
Of course there are some things I just have to wait for but I am prayerfully and patiently putting that into His hands. As for the rest of it – I CAN do something – and I will not continue to feel paralyzed by the waiting.
There is a web newsletter I subscribe to and there were some powerful words of wisdom I want to share also…. Enjoy!
Myth #1: I am waiting for things to turn around.
The reality is that things don’t turn themselves around. Here is a lesson learned while grazing cows. If you want milk, you don’t wait for the cow, grazing some distance from where you are, to back up for you to milk it. You get up and go where the cow is.
Myth #2: I would want to…(fill the blank), BUT…
The reality is that BUT is so powerful it neutralizes the positive motive stated before it. The future largely depends on how many “BUTS” you use at the present. Take an innocent and simple sentence like, “I want to go to college,” then follow that great statement with, “but I am too old.” That BUT empowers your bones to crack and your mind to operate as if you are approaching your life’s sunset.
Myth #3: It is not my responsibility to…(fill the blank).
That phrase demotes you from a doer to a watcher, a spectator of life who avoids participating. Check those around you. Doers are the achievers. Think about the time you went somewhere requesting help and someone said, “I do not have a solution for your situation, however, let me check around.” Even if that individual willing to do something can’t help you, you know he/she took full responsibility to act on your need.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
No matter your size, you'll appreciate this I think!
(I received this from a friend - so I take no credit for writing this post!)
Recently, in large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said: THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?¨
A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.
To Whom It May Concern:
Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans). They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.
Mermaids don’t exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don’t have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them... not to mention how could they have sex? Therefore they do not have kids either. Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store? The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.
P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a coffee with my friends. With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren’t heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, Good gosh, look how smart I am.
Recently, in large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said: THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?¨
A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.
To Whom It May Concern:
Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans). They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.
Mermaids don’t exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don’t have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them... not to mention how could they have sex? Therefore they do not have kids either. Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store? The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.
P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a coffee with my friends. With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren’t heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, Good gosh, look how smart I am.
Monday, June 1, 2009
OMG I did it!
It was brutal - just brutal. I completed the Tour de Cure on Saturday and it was the most difficult ride of my life!
We began at about 7:40 - in the rain heading out north into the wind. I was going a good clip - completing 15 miles the first hour despite the rolling hills and some wind. The rain had stopped and by the second check point it was time to remove a layer. It looked like the sun was going to shine on us... but when would the wind let up??! Not too much longer and the clouds came back and the wind picked up even worse and it changed direction - just as we began heading south again - OMG It was awful!! You literally HAD to pedal to go down hill. If you stopped pedaling you would be blown over. By mile 45 or so I was seriously considering quitting - a few of us were together on the tail end of the pack and when we met at the check points we would complain a little, replenish our food and water and then decide to go on.
At one point when I was very lonely and discouraged and my right leg was bothering me I passed by a farm. On the front lawn was a mom and her two smaller children. They were out there waving and clapping for me! The little boy said "I picked this flower for you" and ran down to the road to see me. I stopped and very gratefully took the white fuzzy dandelion and tucked it into my front pack. I knew the wind would take all of the fluff off of it in no time, but it made me smile none the less.
More water, more Gatorade, another Cliff bar and on I went.
Well the sun came out, the route seemed to flatten and I knew the end was near. I was excited to see Richie and Theresa and my dad at the finish so I pedaled as fast as I could. I was already about an hour past my goal time so I hoped they were not impatiently waiting for me. I came into the Am Fam property, rounded the bend, went up the gentle hill (the last one Thank God!) and there they were. Theresa started clapping, Grandpa took my photo, Richie smiled and the Tour de Cure crew handed me my goody bag and said "well done". Theresa said "great job Mom, now let's get you off of this bike." I couldn't agree more!
We began at about 7:40 - in the rain heading out north into the wind. I was going a good clip - completing 15 miles the first hour despite the rolling hills and some wind. The rain had stopped and by the second check point it was time to remove a layer. It looked like the sun was going to shine on us... but when would the wind let up??! Not too much longer and the clouds came back and the wind picked up even worse and it changed direction - just as we began heading south again - OMG It was awful!! You literally HAD to pedal to go down hill. If you stopped pedaling you would be blown over. By mile 45 or so I was seriously considering quitting - a few of us were together on the tail end of the pack and when we met at the check points we would complain a little, replenish our food and water and then decide to go on.
At one point when I was very lonely and discouraged and my right leg was bothering me I passed by a farm. On the front lawn was a mom and her two smaller children. They were out there waving and clapping for me! The little boy said "I picked this flower for you" and ran down to the road to see me. I stopped and very gratefully took the white fuzzy dandelion and tucked it into my front pack. I knew the wind would take all of the fluff off of it in no time, but it made me smile none the less.
More water, more Gatorade, another Cliff bar and on I went.
Well the sun came out, the route seemed to flatten and I knew the end was near. I was excited to see Richie and Theresa and my dad at the finish so I pedaled as fast as I could. I was already about an hour past my goal time so I hoped they were not impatiently waiting for me. I came into the Am Fam property, rounded the bend, went up the gentle hill (the last one Thank God!) and there they were. Theresa started clapping, Grandpa took my photo, Richie smiled and the Tour de Cure crew handed me my goody bag and said "well done". Theresa said "great job Mom, now let's get you off of this bike." I couldn't agree more!
Monday, May 18, 2009
Help find a cure... The Tour de Cure on May 30th
http://tour.diabetes.org/site/TR/TourdeCure/TDC318018030?pg=pfind&fr_id=5604
I had no idea….
Dad went in for his eye surgery in September and while prepping him the nurse said – “so I see you have diabetes Bill…” I had no idea…
So dad has diabetes… Hmmmm It made me begin to wonder… After talking to him about it I decided to do some reading about non- insulin dependent Type II diabetes. The more I read, the more concerned I became that I too was at risk.
I had no idea….
In October I went to see the Dr. and explained what was going on… besides the pain in my shoulder, sore feet. tiredness, & the revelation about Dad’s diabetes we decided to run every test imaginable… for arthritis, x-rays for the shoulder & foot pain (perhaps a stress fracture from running again and all of my biking) and a fasting blood sugar for diabetes.
Thankfully the tests came back indicating most things were AOK – sore shoulder due to overuse required physical therapy, plantar fasciitis in the feet required stretching & shoe inserts, no evidence of arthritis, but the shock came with the blood sugar at 119 – I was pre-diabetic. I had no idea what to do with this information. I went to see a nutritionist & took a class for people diagnosed with diabetes or pre-diabetes. I have learned about how to eat better & to make sure I am getting 150 minutes of physical activity each week (and “strolling” with the dogs does NOT count!) I am still struggling to drop any weight & metabolic syndrome has been blamed for this for me.
My Dr. told me it is not a matter of “if” I will develop Type II diabetes; it is a matter of “when”. Because I am so physically active she thinks I have forestalled the disease over the years & could keep it at bay if I continue with my diet changes & high activity level… I am determined not to give in or give up.
This year I have decided to join the Tour de Cure for Diabetes & will be riding 100K on May 30th to raise money for a cure. TYPE II non-insulin diabetes is hereditary & not much is known about the cause, but I hope we can find out. Diabetes itself is a silent killer harming the heart & kidneys- damage is done over a long period of time – even before diagnosis.
Would you please sponsor me with a donation to the American Diabetes Association? My goal is to raise $150.00 & to complete the 100K distance. I have been training since March& feel ready to tackle the challenging distance on a tough course outside of Madison. Your pledge would be greatly appreciated.
You can make your check out to American Diabetes Association & mail it to me (5550 Caddis Bend, Apt. 100, Fitchburg, 53711) or donate on-line through my Tour de Cure Web site using your credit card. http://tour.diabetes.org/site/TR/TourdeCure/TDC318018030?pg=pfind&fr_id=5604
Thank you in advance and I hope our efforts lead to a cure for all forms of diabetes someday soon.
Carol
I had no idea….
Dad went in for his eye surgery in September and while prepping him the nurse said – “so I see you have diabetes Bill…” I had no idea…
So dad has diabetes… Hmmmm It made me begin to wonder… After talking to him about it I decided to do some reading about non- insulin dependent Type II diabetes. The more I read, the more concerned I became that I too was at risk.
I had no idea….
In October I went to see the Dr. and explained what was going on… besides the pain in my shoulder, sore feet. tiredness, & the revelation about Dad’s diabetes we decided to run every test imaginable… for arthritis, x-rays for the shoulder & foot pain (perhaps a stress fracture from running again and all of my biking) and a fasting blood sugar for diabetes.
Thankfully the tests came back indicating most things were AOK – sore shoulder due to overuse required physical therapy, plantar fasciitis in the feet required stretching & shoe inserts, no evidence of arthritis, but the shock came with the blood sugar at 119 – I was pre-diabetic. I had no idea what to do with this information. I went to see a nutritionist & took a class for people diagnosed with diabetes or pre-diabetes. I have learned about how to eat better & to make sure I am getting 150 minutes of physical activity each week (and “strolling” with the dogs does NOT count!) I am still struggling to drop any weight & metabolic syndrome has been blamed for this for me.
My Dr. told me it is not a matter of “if” I will develop Type II diabetes; it is a matter of “when”. Because I am so physically active she thinks I have forestalled the disease over the years & could keep it at bay if I continue with my diet changes & high activity level… I am determined not to give in or give up.
This year I have decided to join the Tour de Cure for Diabetes & will be riding 100K on May 30th to raise money for a cure. TYPE II non-insulin diabetes is hereditary & not much is known about the cause, but I hope we can find out. Diabetes itself is a silent killer harming the heart & kidneys- damage is done over a long period of time – even before diagnosis.
Would you please sponsor me with a donation to the American Diabetes Association? My goal is to raise $150.00 & to complete the 100K distance. I have been training since March& feel ready to tackle the challenging distance on a tough course outside of Madison. Your pledge would be greatly appreciated.
You can make your check out to American Diabetes Association & mail it to me (5550 Caddis Bend, Apt. 100, Fitchburg, 53711) or donate on-line through my Tour de Cure Web site using your credit card. http://tour.diabetes.org/site/TR/TourdeCure/TDC318018030?pg=pfind&fr_id=5604
Thank you in advance and I hope our efforts lead to a cure for all forms of diabetes someday soon.
Carol
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