In Honor of my Mom

I had the opportunity to speak at my Mother’s funeral two years ago and today in her memory I would like to share this will you.

My mother died February 21, 2007 in Arizona and was cremated. She stayed with my dad in a beautifully wrapped box until he returned to Madison and could finally arrange the memorial service. She was in this beautiful gold box in the front of the church and some of my words were directed to her from the podium. Here is the speech I delivered.


When someone passes on, I think others like me wonder where they have gone? Are they at peace? Do they truly look down on us like guardian angels? Two themes I would like to touch on this morning make me believe that this is true – they go to a place of peace and they do watch over us.

The two themes are
1) the HOPE of where my mom has gone
2) and the KNOWLEDGE that she is still looking over me.

The words of two songs by Mercy Me give me HOPE as I imagine her departure from this world -
Mercy Me sings “I can only imagine what my eyes will see, when your face is before me…surrounded by your glory what will my heart feel? Will I dance for you Jesus or in your arms will I be still…”
and HOMESICK: “You’re in a better place I’ve heard a thousand times, and at least a thousand times I’ve rejoiced for you… If home is where my heart is then I’ve never been more homesick than now.”

I have a great deal of peace knowing that Mom departed this world and was immediately seated in the most beautiful garden – beyond anything we can imagine. There to greet her were several people from her past – including her brothers Jim and Shorty, her Mom and Dad and I also suspect others we can think of – too numerous to mention. One person I imagine she saw who we do not talk about, but Mom never forgot, is her twin brother John who died shortly after birth and also three of my siblings – two older brothers and my sister Mary Elizabeth. I imagine this reunion was very wonderful!

I have hope when I think of her surrounded by other loved ones we have missed – those of a furry nature – Sam Cat, Francis, Tiger, and probably her favorite Alex. There’s also Molly, Kelly, Cuddles, and Spotsie from our own herd of pets.

So this is the vision that gives me HOPE about where she is now.

How do I know she is watching over me? I would like to share some instances that lead me to believe this.

Shortly before she died I had a job interview for a different job at the UW. I was at the interview on Friday before Theresa and I left on Saturday to visit her in AZ. I felt good about the interview and when I saw Mom I told her about it. I asked her in an offhand way if I’d get this one. She nodded yes.
The day after she died I got a call for the second and final interview before I was offered the job. Of course when I called my dad and told him- he said “well you know who to Thank for that!” Thanks Mom.

I have also struggled for years to get gold finches to visit my bird feeders at home. Mom and I would often kid about this in a competitive way. She call and report 12 finches on her feeders, and I could only sigh and say, well I think I heard one this morning… Well I kept trying the spring after she died and one day I heard quite to commotion at the feeder. I was thinking I had a cat outside pestering the birds. However looking outside I could see over 10 finches on the feeder and in the brush… It was a beautiful sight! I think she also sent some chickadees for good measure. Thank you, Mom for sending them my way. The birds give me and my cats great joy.

Lately my home has been a depository for stray cats wandering into the yard and visiting. My mom was a cat lover and as my brother said, she could coax the most resistant stray to her hand. In the last month three strays have made their way to my house, and then to the humane society however. Mom - my limit is three!

So this is why I have great peace about where my mom is and how I know she is watching over me. I hope in sharing this that you might come to believe in this hope and knowledge that you are being watched over as well.

Mom, I love you, I miss you and thanks for looking over me.

You know you are getting old when...

You know you are getting older when…
I had to fill out a form in case I should happen to get hurt at work… if I break an arm tripping on the steps, or slip on a wet floor in the café… heaven forbid anything should happen.
But it made me kinda laugh! When they asked for contact information I put down my two (almost grown up) children… Most people probably put down a spouse, but being single I could not…
I remember not long ago how I was sending forms to school with my emergency contact information in case one of my kids should happen to get hurt on the playground or during a sporting event… it is funny how life does come around…

I am truly an "in-betweener" – taking care of my kids AND taking care of my dad. Even though my Dad is far away there are not many days that go by when I do not check in with him to be sure he has been eating well, driving OK, getting over the latest cold and wearing his sun screen!
I guess it just goes to show that we all need taking care of no matter our age or rank in the family… we all need someone to contact in case of emergency…

Hmmmmm I wonder if I put down Horatio Caine from CSI Miami, or Richard Gere or Keanu Reeves if one of them would come to my rescue should I get hurt…. Only in my dreams….

Lost Luggage

Lost Luggage…
What do I have to complain about? At least my luggage isn’t soaked in the plane sunk in the Hudson River! However I was frustrated during my trip to California about my luggage and other things….
Our trip was to begin at 3:00AM for me when I woke up. The cab arrived at 4:00AM and I was on my way. We had a 5:40AM departure from Madison to Chicago but due to many issues we were delayed until after 9:30AM and missed our connecting flight to San Jose via Las Vegas…. Once we landed in Chicago we were on the tarmac for over an hour. In the meantime the next series of connections my travel agent made for us were missed and by the time we got into the terminal at 11:00AM we were at our wits end… Our travel agent pulled some miracle out of her hat and said we’d be able to get boarding passes for a direct flight to San Fran departing at 12:30PM – WOW!
Once in the airport I waited in the United Counter line with a hundred very tired and grumpy people while my brother stationed himself at the vacant gate counter of our supposed next direct flight to San Francisco at 1:00PM – be would be arriving there 4 hours late and at the wrong final destination, but at least we would be on the west coast as close to San Jose as we could get…my line moved at a snail’s pace if at all and by 12:30 I was growing very worried that even our flight to San Fran would take off before I had even gotten to the front of the line to get a boarding pass…and my cell phone was dying so any hope of contacting the travel agent if this fell trough was grim. Luckily the flight to San Fran kept getting delayed and finally a ticket agent appeared at the gate counter. My brother explained our situation - the third set of arrangements the travel agent had made - and the lady let him know we were set w/o having to have a boarding pass… after three hours in line, he came to get me and we got on the plane… We finally took off at 2:25PM and I allowed myself to get some rest…I felt lucky. I was in line with one man who came from Spain and was trying to get to Idaho to see his dying brother and a family planning their Christmas trip to Hawaii ….
Of course our luggage never left Chicago that day….
So who do you blame for lost luggage? I am very frustrated by this… Of course with all of our changes I could hardly expect my luggage to follow me… but it did have a final destination tag on it so why couldn’t it have made it on some plane somehow to San Jose??? Indeed….and I also paid to have my luggage transported – adding insult to injury there was no more accountability even though I paid for transporting my luggage – that just doesn’t seem right to me…
It did arrive the next day…
but was lost once again on our way home… somehow it never left Phoenix…
So what can you do? Travel light, be prepared for anything, keep your cell phone charged and be kind to the people in line with you – it could have been a lot worse – my luggage could be at the bottom of the Hudson River….

A fresh path in the snow...

Making a fresh path…
I was the first one up and out this morning with the dogs. A fresh blanket of snow awaited our new paw prints.
As I walked with Toby and Sammie I thought of the new paths we often take this time of year (new year’s resolutions in particular) and how similar it can be to making the first path on a snowy morning. The going is harder in the fresh snow. I had to make the way through the snow plowed corners and lift Toby over the 3 foot bank. We couldn’t quite see the way – where is the sidewalk anyway? There was hidden danger as ice was underneath. And it hurt when the snow froze in between the toes on the paws. Even though we had been around this block before, it was different on this morning when the snow covered the way.
How often it is like that in life. We may have been down this road before, but the path is harder the first time through it. There are hidden dangers (temptations and set backs) and yes it even hurts sometimes.
However I really did enjoy being the first one out there. I was breaking the trail for someone else. I would be the one the next person would follow. And I knew the next time out here it would be easier- someone was going to clear the way and make it better for me after the shoveling and salting.
So whether you like or hate the snow – there is a story in it, there is inspiration in it if you are willing to make your way through it.
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

The reason for the season?

I sometimes forget. At this time of year there is so much going on - and it is contrary to what I think winter and the holiday of Christmas should be.
The bears and most animals are smarter than we are I think. They slow down, they tunnel in, they REST at this time of year. But what do we do? We eat too much, move too little, worry and scurry....

Winter is so beautiful here in WI and I want to take more time to enjoy it. The snowfall the other night was so beautiful! The tail lights and stop lights and holiday lights make the drive so festive. The warming joy hot chocolate brings!

I think of the warming fires for the shepherds in the fields, the dazzling light in the sky, the joy the birth of our King brought... and yet there was hurrying and scurrying going on according to that story too. People coming into town from everywhere and not enough room for everyone to stay. Stress as a baby is about to be born - oh my gosh - can you imagine dealing with that?!

But then there was rest and celebration and peace and joy.
I hope you find these things during this time of year. That is my wish for you - to remember the reason for this season.
Love, Carol

10,000 A Day Keep the Dr. Away

10,000 a Day keeps the Doctor (and the pounds) Away

Today I would like to share with you four ways to better health.

An Apple a Day keeps the Doctor Away is something we have all heard.
An apple can provide more energy than two cups of regular coffee –so have an apple instead of the Starbucks everyday! (Save $ too!)

8 a day – required for good health –
Most if us are walking around dehydrated. This leads to workplace mistakes and accidents.
Dehydration is often masked as a headache, hunger, lethargy? So drink up!
Consider milk as a food, pop as a diuretic (water doesn’t have the chance to be absorbed) and most juices as pure sugar empty calories – which isn’t good for regulating energy levels!
Tips to get your water: Visit the drinking fountain on every trip to the restroom, get a pretty mug- 1 cup of coffee, then 1 cup water.

10 a day – servings of fruit and veggies is what my doctor recommended – while this is sometimes hard to do – think salads, think snacks – this is a good way to get in the 10 servings a day. I have taken up the habit of having a banana in the morning and an apple in the afternoon, carrot sticks while I cook at night and lots of salads. Try something new… pretend you have joined the Fruit or Veggie of the Month club! Try mangos, return to something you love (sweet potatoes, grapes, tomatoes.) Add lettuce and toms to that burger or chicken sandwich.


10,000 steps a day is what is recommended in order to lose weight and walking is a sport for just about everyone. On average we get about 3,000 steps in per day, but if you are not office bound it might be eye-opening to hook on a pedometer and see what an average number of steps for you is over a three or four day time period. To lose weight, they recommend 12,000 steps a day!!!
Get the right shoes, cheap pedometer, start slow and steady – build up, start a walking club at work, get a dog!

Setting a goal is important – either a daily goal, a monthly goal or an exercise goal… My goal is to do the Stoughton Syttende Mai walk in May – 17 miles… WOW! I am working up my total mileage each week and a long walk once a week. Some other ways I try to incorporate these things is to have a reminder on my computer to “Drink up!” Always have two veggies for supper (And French fries don’t count!) When eating out I would exchange a salad for fries – just this once…you get two or three veggie servings right there!

So remember, 1 a day, 8 a day, 10 a day or 10,000 a day are some ways to improve your energy and health. I hope you will adopt one of these ideas to help you on the way to positive health.

At least we’re dressed….

As I was walking my dogs one morning I was thinking about the level of stress we have had at work and how it seems like we can never get caught up. We are also feeling the pressure of not doing our job as well or as perfectly as we’d like to. I know this is a struggle many of us face…Striving for perfection is not always what it is cracked up to be, but we can hope to come somewhat close on most days.

As I was walking, wishing Toby and Sammie would take care of business a little bit quicker and not stop to smell every spot of discolored snow, I was thinking of all I had left to do before work. I was thinking maybe if I could get up just ten minutes earlier, life wouldn’t be so chaotic in the morning. Just like at work, maybe if I had just a few more hours, I could get that project done and have it be a little more polished rather than doing just the bare minimum.

Then I thought of how much this situation parallels my every morning of every day and how I just wish I had more time….

If I had more time in the morning…

I would make eggs and hash browns and bacon and muffins

I would actually enjoy a whole cup of coffee – sitting down!

I would wear jewelry that actually matches my outfit – including earrings, necklace and ring!

I would be sure to have my slacks ironed.

I might even coordinate my underthings so that they’d match (and I’d feel pretty!)

I would make myself a healthy lunch instead of shoving a lean cuisine into my oversized bag

I would wear matching shoes! And socks!

I would actually put on eye shadow and use lip liner

rather than a swipe of eye liner and chapstick

I would brush my teeth for the ADA recommended two minutes…

And I would floss.

I would walk the dogs an extra block and let them play for a few minutes with their friends Abby, Stella, Molly, Rocko, Coco,or Abe or Bitsy or Tiny or Gizmo if they are out

However since most mornings are NOT at all like this - the best you and I can hope for is to say….

At least I am dressed…

SO be glad you are not going into work naked, and be happy if your shoes and socks match – sometimes that is the MOST we can do!

Love and hugs,

Carol