Safe in His hands

Safe in His hands…
Many years ago I was coordinator for the Meals for the Homeless program at First Prez Church in Waunakee. This meant getting the volunteers together to cook, deliver and serve the meal to about 100 men at Grace Church in Madison one Thursday per month. I loved doing this job! I especially enjoyed joining the men as they ate their dinners and hearing their stories.

I will always remember one particular night serving at Grace. It was in January and the temp outside was below zero with a “wind chill-you-to-the-bone”. At times like this the shelter was open long before dinner time to let the men come inside and relax where it is warm. In addition, at times like this they ignore the 100 bed limit and let anyone in. They may end up sleeping on the floor in the hallway, but at least they are somewhere warm!

Now to understand the set-up, the kitchen where food is served is closed off from the small dining/bunk area. The men sit and eat on just a few dining tables in this separate room or eat sitting on their bunk bed. After dinner is served to all the men it was time for lights out (about 9:15PM) and I went to the dining/bunk room to wash down the tables. The only lights on were those of the vending machines – just enough for me to see the crumbs. As I washed the tables and quietly moved the chairs under the tables I heard the faint sound of a few men snoring. I stopped what I was doing and just listened. It was so peaceful - it was so quiet – so quiet I could hear the men breathing deep and fast asleep.

An overwhelming feeling came over me. Here was a room and a hallway full of men who had no other place to go. They had all of their worldly belongings with them under their heads as a pillow. They were fast asleep in the warmth and safety of this room. What amazed me was that they felt secure enough to even fall asleep – besides the fact that their bellies were full and they were probably extremely exhausted. I had a sense of a God moment then. I sensed His presence holding each and every one of the men in His hand – allowing them to feel the warmth, and trusting enough to sleep soundly where they were at that moment – not worrying about what had happened during the day or fearing about tomorrow. It reminded me of how my own children would fall fast asleep in as babies – trusting and warm cradled in my arms…This is how I imagined God was holding them.

I held onto that moment as long as I could and then got back to the work at hand. But I will often come back to this memory in times when I am troubled. I know that I can trust that God is holding me in His hands, just as I have held my babies, and as He held and took care of those men that night. What an awesome feeling!

What kind of map reader are you?

So, what kind of “map reader” are you? Do you like to see the big picture or is it enough to focus on just where you are at the moment?

I traveled a great deal this spring and it was interesting to think about reading maps along the way…. I had two trips; one was a trip with my students to Ohio and the other was a trip with my dad from Kansas to Wisconsin. For both trips, we navigated with a real highway map….(no GPS for us!)

For the student trip, we had to drive to Columbus, Ohio and I was in a van with 6 other people. Two of us were the designated drivers for the nine – hour trip. Jenn, my co-pilot sat up front and kept up lively conversation to keep me awake and alert. (Not too soon after taking off the van fell into a quiet hush as the 5 other people fell asleep!) I had printed out an 8 ½ x 11” page of directions from Google and we also had maps of Illinois and Indiana… As we proceeded on the trip, Jenn got out the maps and unfolded them for easier viewing… What was interesting is that she unfolded them to see a wide view of about ½ the state at a time…. rather than focusing on the little 4 x 6” of map we needed to see…(Google map size). The reason I thought this was interesting is because I too like to see the big picture of where I am going and where I am related to the area around me. I have always been directionally challenged (California is on the East Coast right???) (My daughter Theresa also shares this unfortunate trait with me, but that is another story…) For me, I have to have practically the entire map open to “see” where I am…. While the trip was pretty straight forward, it was fun to get there the “old-fashioned way”. Jenn said she collects maps, so at the gas station in Ohio I bought her a map to add to her collection!

A few weeks later I had the chance to travel with my dad back from Arizona and I was the official map reader….(yes I realized we needed to head East to get home ;-) We did get lost within the first 20 miles on our first day (missed a sign for a turn onto the highway – easy to do amongst construction and the fact that all the roads looked alike! Believe me it is not like the interstate system here in WI!) Once we realized we were on the wrong road (Hmmmm why haven’t we seen any other semis on the road for a while?!!?) we had to turn around (the 37 foot motor home plus the car) on a two lane farm road. According to the map, we could take a short cut to get back onto the highway – if the map was right… and we hoped the short cut was not another farm road! As we proceeded to head back to get onto the right road, dad asked me how far the shortcut was… being funny I said “oh about ½” inch” ha ha… the joke was, for the rest of the trip if he asked me how far we had to go I gave him the distance in inches….

At a rest stop in Kansas, I thought of Jenn and grabbed a map for her – just in case she didn’t have one for Kansas!

So, what kind of “map reader” are you? Do you like to see the big picture or is it enough to focus on just where you are at the moment? Or do you depend on your technology to get you where you need to go? But the most important question of all is…. Do you know how to refold that map???#@#!?

A Different Kind of Valentine

Sunday was a difficult day in Church. We had the sermon based on 1 Corinthians:Chapter 13 - also know as the “love chapter”. Not exactly the favorite of a single girl the day before Valentine’s Day. I was especially touched by the sermon because it talked about what God really means by love but then was drawn to tears as the versus 4-8 were put to music. I know it was a God moment as the words” love never fails” was sung and the overwhelming feeling of failure of love in my life came over me. I could not fight back the tears. I felt like I had failed at love in my life and that I had also failed to not feel that the love of God was enough…it was awful. At the end of church I had to just be alone and sit for awhile so I went into a quiet room off of the atrium. I cried silent tears for a short time and prayed for comfort. As I settled down I opened my eyes and looked out into the atrium. There was a man holding a baby girl on his shoulder. She was wrapped in a pink blanket, sleeping on his shoulder. All of a sudden I thought of the love I have for my children and how I felt when I held them as babies in my arms or as they slept on my shoulder. I also thought to myself that this is how God is holding me now. I could feel his love as he holds me close in his arms. It brought me great comfort. But that is not the end of my story….



As I was leaving to go downstairs a little boy all bundled up in his winter coat and hat came toddling over to me…he was about a year old and so adorable! His parents were close behind and didn’t mind that I bent over to talk to him…He looked up at me and then of all the wonderful things he could have done he lifted up his arms for me to pick him up! His mom said that was “so cute” and I did not want to freak them out so I did not pick him up… but again he looked at me and lifted his arms for me to pick him up…. At that point I asked if it was Ok to pick him up…she said OK, “he’s never done that before”… and I then picked him up. He immediately hugged me and put his head on my shoulder…Then he picked his head up and gave me a smile. I tried to turn to his mom to give him to her but again he gave me a hug! Yes indeed tears came to my eyes… at that point I did manage to have his mom take him gently from me. I told her that he was truly an angel and he made my day more than she would ever know.

Yes love is a difficult thing…but if we ask for it, love will be brought to us – and I have the faith and the hope that God will provide all the love I need in His own way…
So Happy Valentine’s day!


4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

A prayer answered in the sweetest way!

I used to live in Waunakee and when I lived in the country we had an owl that often visited. Then when I moved in the city limits to my surprise there was an owl that lived in my neighborhood. I loved hearing it hoot at night, and even sometimes when I was walking the dog very early in the morning... Something about the hoot of the owl was very comforting to me.

The other morning I was walking Toby and I said to myself how much I missed the sound of the owl...I sometimes long to be back in the country to hear this and to see wildlife...I have seen a hawk by the apartment, but never thought an owl would be in the area. I was really missing this for some reason on this particular day.

I actually had the thought "wouldn't it be nice if I could hear that sound again"



Would you believe that at 3:45 this morning I woke up suddenly and did not know why... as I lay there I heard the unmistakable and very loud hoot of an owl!!!! Yes indeed! It must have been right in the tree outside my patio or on the roof top next door because it was so loud! I listened for its repeated hoot and very soon the call went from being right there by my apartment to a bit further away, then softer, still further away...until I could not hear it anymore

It was so amazing and still makes me smile just thinking about it...

In the meantime....

In the meantime…..
What do you do when you are struggling with reaching a goal, or finding a relationship, or getting work done on a long range project?

You find yourself in this limbo…. Waiting for others to complete something, waiting for the results to show up, waiting for the stats to be compiled, waiting for the pounds or inches to drop, waiting for the phone call or e-mail or card…

How do you handle “in the meantime?” I think this is a very stressful time and very difficult to sit back and let the process proceed as it should. In the meantime can be paralyzing I think. So this is what I will do with my “meantime”:

While I am waiting for the person to handle the details of one event, I will begin another project.
In the meantime I will file things that have been sitting around for months, answer e-mails, and get ready for the new students.

While I am waiting for the scale to show the results of my workouts, in the meantime I will remember to drink my water and limit my portions. In the meantime I will pack my gym back and go to the club – even if it is only for ½ hour and I am tired!

While I am waiting for my dream man to show up, in the meantime I will be as friendly and fun towards others because you never know…
In the meantime, I will enjoy my time with my kids, my walks with Toby, coffee on my deck and a bike ride on the bike trails…

In the meantime I will take care of myself and not be paralyzed by the waiting. I will move forward and not sit still waiting. In my meantime I will make to most of the break I have been given because activity is right around the corner and perhaps I will wish for this “meantime” back again!

What are we (am I) waiting for anyway?!

I have had the word “wait” in my vocabulary for too long I have decided. Songs on the radio, the news, magazine articles, and television shows all talk about waiting for any number of things. Waiting for the right one to come along, waiting for the winning number to win the lottery, waiting for the kids to finish school, waiting for the kids to go back to school, waiting for the perfect opportunity, waiting for the economy to change, waiting for the weather to warm up, waiting for the weather to cool down, waiting for the In box to get empty, waiting for the deadline, waiting for the weekend, waiting for Monday…

I have been in a waiting pattern for any number of these things and it has become paralyzing for me. I have got to get out of the “When this happens then I will….Syndrome”. I have been thinking a lot lately and trying to get out of it and I think I have found the solution. Here are just a few examples of how I have to turn this around… Instead of saying “when I lose 20 pounds I’ll start running again”, I need to say “when I start running again I’ll lose 20 pounds.” Or “when my bills settle down from my recent situation, I’ll get my finances in order.” Instead I need to say “when I get my finances in order, my bills will settle down.” Or “when work calms down, I’ll get more organized.” Yes, you guessed it – I need to say “when I get more organized, work will calm down.”

Of course there are some things I just have to wait for but I am prayerfully and patiently putting that into His hands. As for the rest of it – I CAN do something – and I will not continue to feel paralyzed by the waiting.

There is a web newsletter I subscribe to and there were some powerful words of wisdom I want to share also…. Enjoy!


Myth #1: I am waiting for things to turn around.
The reality is that things don’t turn themselves around. Here is a lesson learned while grazing cows. If you want milk, you don’t wait for the cow, grazing some distance from where you are, to back up for you to milk it. You get up and go where the cow is.

Myth #2: I would want to…(fill the blank), BUT…
The reality is that BUT is so powerful it neutralizes the positive motive stated before it. The future largely depends on how many “BUTS” you use at the present. Take an innocent and simple sentence like, “I want to go to college,” then follow that great statement with, “but I am too old.” That BUT empowers your bones to crack and your mind to operate as if you are approaching your life’s sunset.

Myth #3: It is not my responsibility to…(fill the blank).
That phrase demotes you from a doer to a watcher, a spectator of life who avoids participating. Check those around you. Doers are the achievers. Think about the time you went somewhere requesting help and someone said, “I do not have a solution for your situation, however, let me check around.” Even if that individual willing to do something can’t help you, you know he/she took full responsibility to act on your need.

No matter your size, you'll appreciate this I think!

(I received this from a friend - so I take no credit for writing this post!)

Recently, in large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said: THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?¨

A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans). They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don’t exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don’t have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them... not to mention how could they have sex? Therefore they do not have kids either. Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store? The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.

P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a coffee with my friends. With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren’t heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, Good gosh, look how smart I am.